When someone decides that they want to be a professional truck driver, they have a general idea of what they are signing up for.
They know that the hours can be long, that schedules can change at the last minute and that it is not uncommon to get laid over for days at a time depending on market conditions.
They also accept the inherited safety risk that comes with driving a truck for a living. A momentary lapse in judgement by themselves (or more likely by a motorist) could lead to a serious collision and even death.
Most drivers accept the caveats of the job in exchange for the benefits (insert your own joke here about the lack of benefits these days).
What can be forgotten is how this time away and these risks impact drivers’ families. I have spoken to thousands of drivers from all walks of life. Some are single and enjoy solidarity on the road, some have families and some once had families.
Life on the road can be tough on the driver’s family, and it seems like a lot of people forget about that major sacrifice.
I was speaking with a driver named Paul who is in a stable relationship with his wife of 6.5 years. He explained that when he is on the road his wife and him actually talk more, as he will call her (hands-free) and they will chat for hours at a time.
This almost makes it feel like he has a passenger with him, granted one that he can hang up on if he ever feels the need. This gives him someone to vent to, someone with whom to share his thoughts and ideas, and his wife can do the same. They do not have any children together, just a dog, and the dog goes where Paul goes.
Another driver named Lee likes to go out on the road for four weeks at a time before spending a week at home. He relies on Facetime, text messages and online games to stay close with his wife and kids. They have been together for nearly 20 years, and he had been a longhaul driver before they met, so it is the only lifestyle that they know together.
This contrasts with Anthony. Anthony met his wife when he drove local. The days were long, but he was home every night and every weekend. When he wanted to make more money, he took longer trips. It wasn’t long before the time apart was detrimental to the relationship. Time at home was spent arguing, the communication on the road became less frequent and the relationship ended.
A driver named Michael was telling me that he regrets how much of his kids’ lives he missed. He tried his best to make it to the major events like a graduation or a championship game.
But he missed the regular games and practices, going to the movies on a weeknight or simply hanging out at home together. At the time, his children didn’t complain because they didn’t know any better, but he said as they got older, he sensed some resentment.
A good friend of mine Taylor has been driving for 30-plus years and has managed the delicate balance of driving cross-border and being a family man. Though I learned that whenever I would call his wife, I’d have to start the call with: “Taylor is okay, I am calling about the Christmas party,” or whatever it might be.
She doesn’t worry as much as she used to about his safety on the road, but the thought of him being involved in an accident is never far from her mind.
Lastly, a former driver of mine named Bo ended up leaving my company because the cross-border lifestyle made it too difficult to start a family. He said that he was unable to go on dates because he never knew when he would be home and if he tried to set up a date and then he got delayed somewhere, it would hurt his credibility with a potential girlfriend.
He left my company to do some local work and eventually met his wife and they had two kids.
Lifestyle aside, another aspect of being the family of a driver is the finances. Most drivers are paid by the mile and if they have a slow week or two, it really impacts how much money they take home.
Sometimes the only way to combat this is to drive even more, which means more time away from the family and possibly an increase in fatigue. Financial stress on top of not being at home much can be a recipe for a broken family.
Keep this in mind the next time you see a driver (or the driver’s family); they sacrifice a lot to make sure that our shelves are stocked.
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